Postscript to the "Big Game:" Pornography in America
Rev. Mary Amendolia Gardner
As I watched the halftime show at the “big game” this year, I couldn’t turn it off, at least not right away. I knew I should have turned it off, but I wanted to see how far it would go. Bad idea. It went farther than any halftime show that I remember had gone before, and now those images are stuck in my head. I took to social media expecting to see outrage. There was little. This is America today.
The halftime show, for those of you wise enough to turn it off, was pornographic under any definition that Christians should use, even if it passes muster with network executives. Nor should we be surprised. Never mind those outside the church, porn use is rampant among clergy and parishioner alike. The stats are alarming: Read here and here.
Diane Langberg, recently tweeted out this reminder:
“Be forewarned, those of you who use and enjoy pornography. You cannot objectify others through the use of pornography for years and not have its morally corrosive effects eventually leak out into relationships with live people, even your own spouses and children.”
Langberg would know, she is a well-respected psychologist with 35 years’ experience working with trauma survivors and clergy. For the rest of us, perhaps one of my family members, Amy Roen Fabey’s post game reflections resonate. She said this on social media in response to the halftime show:
“I want to say that being a 47 year old female, what I saw was not my idea of empowering women. The women in my life that I look up to don’t have to be hyper-sexualized to be empowered. They sit at tables making important, intelligent decisions. They are careful, compassionate and decisive. They are strong when they need to be and don’t waiver when times get hard. They set goals and expectations and achieve them. I hope that my daughter and the younger women of this age are able to see through this facade of 'empowerment.'"
She is right, and the segment towards the end of the show about empowering girls did nothing to counteract its overall message. In an age that leans increasingly strongly towards images and memes rather than rhetoric and words, more viewers will remember the bulk of the show rather than a smaller segment towards the end.
For myself, recalling Paul’s words in Philippians 4:8 that “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Several years ago I posted a link to this blog post: Disciplining Our Eyes with Holy Images by Victoria Emily Jones on my social media feed. It’s worth reading and putting into practice. She writes,
“We also need to beware of the propensity [images] have to plant themselves firmly in our minds and become idols. Whether it’s a perfume commercial on TV or an exotic dinner photo on Instagram, we need to break the power certain images have over us. Instead of allowing images to name us (“ugly,” “boring,” “unwanted,” “failure”), we must name them—denounce as false and unholy any image that claims ultimate authority in our lives, or that tries to redefine who we are against the definition scripture already gives us: we are Christ’s."
I’d encourage you to spend some time with this article. Scroll through the images at the bottom [of the article] for examples of “whatever is pure, whatever is lovely” in these images of Christ. Adopt the desires they illustrate. Doing so has helped me crowd out the images from the night before as I “crowded in” images of the true, beautiful and good.
For those who are addicted to pornography or anything else for that matter, take the matter seriously and urgently, but DON'T go it alone. Seek the help of a pastor or counselor who will wisely steer you to resources and coach you into a supportive community. If you are isolated and alone, take a risk and ask for help. The healing power of God and supportive community can be transformative. Don't listen to the shame voices, and don’t think that this is a minor issue. Instead, get help now!
God created us “fearfully and wonderfully” in our bodies. Valuing life, as we thankfully do in DOMA, means that we value all life as a gift from God rather than distorting its image as our culture does.
The good news we preach is that there is help for the addicted and that God can change the human heart. If you are addicted to pornography, turn away from it now and seek help.
Rev. Mary Amendolia Gardner is a spiritual director with Coracle.
LINKS
The ACNA Anglicans for LifeAlways Forward Anglican Global Missions Partners (AGMP)Anglican Relief & Development