An Ordination Journey: The Rev. Jamie Brown
by Jamie Brown
“God, are you saying ‘yes’ to me being a pastor?” This was the question I asked God throughout my 20’s and early 30’s, as I enjoyed stepping into my calling as a worship leader, but as I had a suspicion that God had more in mind for me.
Having been raised in a ministry family as a preacher’s kid, I knew first-hand what pastoral ministry really looked like. I had seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I had experienced the ups-and-downs. I had convinced myself that being a worship leader was as far as I needed to obey God when it came to his calling on me. I desired to point to Jesus as clearly as I could, and to put him on display through music, and that was the lane I would stay in.
At the age of 13, I began leading worship at my dad’s church every Sunday. From that point forward, most weekends of my life, I was in up-front worship ministry in some way. Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, retreats, special services, weddings, funerals, vacation bible schools, you name it. I was happy to stay in my worship leading lane. When I was 20, The Falls Church Anglican hired me, and for the next decade, I served there during a very eventful decade. During this time, I began seminary as well. In 2014, I joined the staff at Truro Anglican Church as their Director of Worship and Arts. I was eager for this new challenge, and enjoyed (and still do!) this role.
But the burning in my heart kept getting stronger, letting me know that God was trying to get my attention.
In early 2018 I was given the gift of a four-month sabbatical. It was good for my soul to step back for a bit, and I was able to take a full semester of seminary classes for the first time ever. Up until that point, and afterwards, I took the “one class at a time” approach, since a full-time job and a growing family left little time for seminary.
So during those four months I kept asking God, “are you saying ‘yes’ to me being a pastor”? He finally got my attention on the last week of my sabbatical, during two prayer walks on the beach.
During one prayer walk, as I was pouring my heart out to the Lord, he gave me a very clear prophetic word for a couple walking past me. Too afraid to share it, I said “no, Lord!” and ignored it. To use spiritual language, I chickened out.
Minutes later it happened again for a gentleman I saw in the hotel lobby. Likewise, too afraid to share it, I said “no, Lord”. That evening I told Catherine what had happened, and like the godly woman that she is, she admonished me to obey God’s voice and go tell those people what God had told me to tell them! I was too afraid to do it. I said no.
Days after this experience, on another prayer walk, the day before we’d finish our sabbatical and return to Fairfax, I asked God yet again, “are you calling me to be a pastor?” Just before getting back in my car, I sat down to drink a glass of orange juice, and to listen to the Lord. As clear as a bell, he answered: “Jamie, I’ve been saying yes to you for years. You’re the one saying no.”
As usual, he was right.
The next 2.5 years involved me learning how to say “yes” to this calling to ordination. I finished seminary at Reformed Theological Seminary, entered the ordination discernment process, and even in the midst of continued ups-and-downs of ministry, I was thrilled to step forward to serve God and his church in this way. I was ordained a deacon in January, and recently ordained a priest on August 1, 2021.
I’ve learned that whether it’s sitting at a piano leading a hymn, standing in the pulpit preaching a sermon, kneeling beside the hospital bed of an elderly man who no longer recognizes his wife, or simply walking along the beach, all God really wants from me – and from you too - is a heart that says “yes” to him. To point to him as clearly as I can, and to put him on display, however and whenever he chooses.
The Rev. Jamie Brown is Associate Rector for Worship and Arts at Truro Anglican Church, Fairfax, VA.